My Life, Dancing in the Streetlight Sound (A Trilogy)

My Life, Dancing in the Streetlight Sound (Upon a Loved One)

Fact 1: The Sound of Light

A shadow is covering that page in the book of history

Not the important one that wouldn´t mention

The painful and lovesome

But the record of our thirst for the life

We´ve been dreaming of

In bloom and agony of this our youth -

A ghost now is dwelling in places

We used to wander

And it feels like we met in a dream

A dream of better beauty and more anxious love

A life is where you are not

You did not tell me where you were heading for

Nor that you would go at all

So I be-ordered my mind on papered wings,

But is there a way I can find to nowhere?

My senses seem cramped around a picture

Of you, in the sunny mood of a peevish day

No, I won´t ever get to you again

Neither do I realise the impact of loss

My mourning feels so corrupted

That it makes me want to disappear

From the surface of the moon, from the surface

Of my superficial concerns, they don´t stand the brightness of day

I´m ashamed

I´m ashamed, I can´t tell black from white

Fact 2: Compromised Dancing

Can I see your smiling face shining with the stars

When I look up for them, fading lights?

So much a sign of life for us, yet dead for long when they

Come to being, by means, we bring them forth in our very hearts reception

Energies meander, and shape is eventually temporary

At least not reliable

Are you watching our daily clumsiness from above?

Do you accompany this our run-and-hide, hide-and-seek?

I wish to imagine you smiling, as that is what your heart was like

Whenever a single soul was reliant on comfort

Perhaps you got a little moved, moved on us, moved

On the moment we were sacrificing in a memory for you

Or maybe that was our excuse for mourning ourselves

But you know that there are way more important things to tell

Since you left us

Because we have to live on

And

You cannot help us in that anymore

It is our own sole thing to find

Ourselves alone

Fact 3: Life is a Wall, Love is the Bricks

Laughter, Invisibly to Grief It Sticks

You left a mark on the lonesome road we travel

A sign for us to find

This memory, some fading images

Your voice, grown unfamiliar over the years

It recalls all the fear and compassion

Some stubborn mistakes that are meant to pass

And everything that no one will ever be able to put in words

No one except the two of us

But words won´t find us ease

You left us here, a life well behind

And an idea in our trembling hearts

That it is our life

And our own sole thing to find

Can you see now?

(final version: 9/May/2005; written in February)