Apr 10, 2007


She said ‘you never leave friendships
Just like you never abandon homes
They keep living and breathing heavily as the lungs continue grow ever more congested in the back of your mind
Whether you like it or not’

But nobody was listening to her, so she went back to her gin
They were scanning the place waiting for our friend to arrive so the night could really begin
But he was taking his sweet time of course
And it was getting late, you could tell
The lonely young man who went mad after losing his family in a motorway car crash was now way past drunk and fell
Swinging his meandering body into our table as everybody made a dive for their drinks
Then he tried to apologize but his brain was so slow that he could hardly speak

Eventually our man arrived obviously already wired and accompanied by a troupe of other likeminded souls
He came over and slipped our doses into our hands without bothering to wait for the glass-collector to go
And he looked at us and we looked at him and he looked away and that was all
And then our mutual friend made his excuses and bundled himself off to the bogs
His dark eyelids only telling half the story of what he had taken and what was still to fall
He had his own issues that I’m sure we weren’t helping funding him as we were
But he’s a big boy now
Or at least that’s how we justified it, and it’s not like anyone had a cure

The next morning was Sunday and I was sat in a friend’s front room after both spending the whole night awake and smoking and drinking too much and he looked as pale as a ghost
And when I saw him eating an apple and asked him why
As he always claimed to hate them he said ‘well I’m trying to look after my health aren’t I?’
He was becoming paranoid after letting all and sundry into his place and he kept telling people in a raised voice to be quiet
And I left him to it

Someone turned on the TV saying ‘I always watch T4 on Sundays, it’s like my religion’
And she was right
It was the day of rest and religion after all
And with our hangovers and come downs we were more inclined to watch television than go to church

And then someone came in and went around giving everybody a small white and black fridge magnet word each saying ‘I found them at the bus stop and missed my bus trying to pick them all up’ and he gave me one saying ‘innocent’
But I knew I wasn’t innocent
I just remembered to keep certain things hidden and quiet
And that if you’re guilty its best to just keep silent
So I did

But my friend still kept trying to maintain control over his own house
And it ended up that he chucked a bunch of rowdy people out
And nobody blamed him for being on edge or for taking care of his place
It was his decision and they respected that and they just got out of his face
So we all decided to leave and go to the goals and play football for the day
But when we got there only a handful actually had the energy to play
A few just sat and stared
And a few carried on drinking
As if they didn’t have homes to go to
As if something was missing

But when it started to rain
And two guys got into an uneven and unwanted fight and the loser started moaning about the rain
We decided to pack it in for the day
And I went home and packed my things and threw the word ‘innocent’ into the bin
And didn’t give it another thought
I knew I’d been away too long
And I knew I was out of the loop
Because I didn’t really know the people and the houses like I thought I used to
As some things in your head differently to how they really do

And I sat in the kitchen and had a cup of coffee
With the friend who gave me the lift home
It was cold and late in the morning
And soon I had to go, or else I’d miss my ride
And he told me just as he was about to leave ‘it’s like you either get locked into a life or locked out of a life’
And for some reason he looked very pleased

(written by a friend)

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