My Life, Dancing. (Part 2 - In Loving Memory, Yours)

My Life, Dancing Part 2:

In Loving Memory, Yours…

You know, I will always remember the first time we were talking to

each other while I was working in the kitchen. And every time

I remember, it bursts my heart. I don´t want to feel this sudden

ache, and yet I cannot live without it.

I know that I will see you again.

I know that I will carry you with me for the rest of my lifetime.

As an image, maybe. Fading. Pieces of memory that I will wonder

once where they came from, why they made me feel so hard that it seemed there was

no space left for any other emotion.

I could not focus, I could not read, not study. I guess I am

thinking too much. I cannot help it.

It seems so real and unreal at the same time. Is this

My life?

I know that I will see you again. I saved some corner of my

Heart, and I planted a flower there, and I watched it grow and get

Old and finally die. I watched it die with my heart one day, in a

Picture of you. Once I wondered where I had taken it from, and

Then I remembered how it used to be like when I was living in

Kalmar nation while I was supposed to live in Uppsala. By that

Time I remembered the days I had spent waiting for you, watching

You before my inner eye. The aches I had suffered, the pleasures

I had met. I felt your eyes on me, they were talking to me, like

They wanted to tell things I would never hear. I saw you smile,

Like you used to, and I heard you breathing. I saw your hair

Moving around your neck like it was living.

Then my heart took a leap, and stopped from beating.

I will write a song about you, I will never see that clear again.

Two days ago I was told that you died in a car accident,

On the way to that vacation you always had wanted to spend

In a country quite far from here.

I would like to think you were happy then.

I never saw you again.

(November 2004)