poetry#5

My feet are still traversing these streets

(Passing the same street again)

What would it matter –

I´d show regret, and said:

I never wanted anything of this to happen

Said that and would actually believe the words

Or believe I knew what I wanted to say

But what do you care words?

So I go on as if it were yesterday

Dangling in the streetlights

Dancing on my conscience´ corpses

Dices only roll me bad luck

As Russian Roulette would

If I ever dared to quite try that

I need something more

I look for insights

Who´ll ever be waiting there for me

If not even you

What is there I can rely on

If I passed that flask

So I walk on

And stay here or there for a while

To not forget that it is solitude that strays first

I´ll walk those precepts for years

Until they all get the same to me

I would walk them with you, no doubt

If you only would still know me by then

I can´t be sure of that, though I been sure to know you

I won´t be sure of anything anymore

Well, I can´t depend on you

And I know all of that

But I know many things that I know

Like empty phrases do

They don´t appear real to me

And you gave me that feeling

The feeling I miss since then

A feeling real

So I will walk this street

Carrying you on my heart

You´re weighing hard on my hand and shoulder

I will stop from time to time, for a sigh

And then I will stand right here, see that river?

And wait for you until the morning dawns

(October 2005)